Monday, April 13, 2015

Be accountable

Greetings. It's a nice spring day in the northeast with a light breeze and the daffodils are peeking through the soil. I like this time of the year and hate it. The reason that I hate it is my allergies are triggered and for the next few weeks, I'll be sneezing, sniffling, and tearing.....

Image result for allergies gif

Actually, I feel like tearing right now and I am not out in the backyard....you see.......

Yesterday, I drove the kid halfway to college. His friends Tonto and Sky High met us halfway and drove him and all of the goodies that I packed back to campus. As I took the turnpike home, I exhaled for the first time in a few weeks....in and out....in and out....

As I walked into the house, I hear the phone and dad speaking loudly. Yikes...really...already, really?

Then I got the call....quick Tink, pour some pinot into a large sippy cup for this one....

It seems that the trainer has gone through the locker room to tell the team that the big kid threw in the towel and refused to rehab his injury. In other words, he is soft and unreliable. This is the trainer who has worked with him over the years and gained his confidence and trust. Now he is throwing him under the bus telling people that he over reacted to the injury and should not have had surgery. In other words, he is letting his team mates and university down.

Believe me, I saw the tear on the MRI. I also saw him trying to walk and the beating that his body was taking as he tried to compensate for the injury. Plus, the docs are still seething that he went for another opinion who actually correctly diagnosed the injury.

This is a bunch of doo-doo....sorry about the potty mouth. But, if he was capable, no one or nothing would stop him from throwing. He has been on the mound despite injuries, lyme disease, shoulder injuries, stomach flu, and fevers. If he could throw, he would throw, Got it?

Now, they seek to humiliate him further by telling  his team mates that he abandoned them. The coaches have still not checked on him. And he is out there...basically alone to face the team after his surgery.

Dang, when does life get easier? When do people who claim to be adults grow up? Why can't I go in there and kick some BP mom butt?

I dunno. That's my answer. However, if it gets to the point where I have to intervene again, given his blessing, I will. Otherwise, he is on his own to take on the critics and work out the issues that poor communication and leadership created.

He has four games left to attend since he is not going to travel. As we spoke this morning, he was getting anxious and felt that something big was going to happen, so he headed to speak to the sports psychologist about his anxiety. And then it happened.....thrown under the bus by the good doc....

He told the big guy that the coaches were angry with him and feel that he let everyone down. They also concurred that he did not go through correct channels and made a decision without their consultation. The kid hit the roof and I had the privilege of listening to this rant.....

"They don't care. they never cared. They let me get injured. They do not talk to me. They berate me. Yell at me. Ignore me. Humiliate me. Injure me. And I go in to see the coaches and the pitching coach did not even look at me in the eye or speak to me when I told him that I needed surgery. And they are angry!"

Sigh.....I am not going to rant, but this is a crazy and toxic situation. I am tired of hearing about it. I want to help him but I want to go postal on the whole group of them.

Listen, I am not a mother who thinks that her baby is the best athlete. he's not.

He's not the best pitcher, but he's pretty dang good as concurred by the analysts on ESPN.

He works hard and leaves his body and soul on the field.

What does he get? You know the drill.....humiliated, made fun of, ignored, called a psycho, and put on the bench to breathe. If we had to do it again, would we?

Well, knowing what we know now....no.

On the other hand, looking back, the road has not been easy, but he has proven to be resilient. I admire what he has done and give him a great deal of credit.

All I want now is for the next two weeks to fly by. I would love to stay away from senior day because the coach would have to say things that he does not mean. In other words, he would have to be nice and complimentary. Knowing this, I would seethe inside.

Also on senior day, the team honors the seniors and they are given a gift from the university. The parents are there with the mothers given flowers. The coaches then walk up to the parents and players and shake their hands and pose for a photo. Honestly, thinking about this ceremony is making me sick to my stomach. I hope that I can fake it just to get him out of there with his dignity (or what is left of it) intact.

My heart breaks for the kid, but I have to be strong, listen to him vent, and caution him not to say a negative word. He has to get out of the situation soon or he will say something that he will regret or I will say something that he will regret. Any way you look at it, he loses...or does he?

Let's consider this....he has been humiliated, yelled at, and ostracized. What else can happen?

I encourage him to keep his head down and mouth shut. Nothing good will come from any verbal altercation. However, when he is safe.....that's right safe.....when the Czar cannot hurt him anymore and he is set in the minors, I will take my verbal shot and hit my target.

Do I want anything bad to happen to anymore? Nope. I want people to be accountable for their words, actions, and negative impact on these kids.

Ok, gotta run.

peace!




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