Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Not so petite

Good sleepy morning...I am starting my busy season of teaching 18 credits in three months...that is 6 classes...why? Why not?

OK, friends, you know why....I have to be in shape for the impending baseball season. That means I need the freedom to hop into the car and take off for regions of the country that have a stadium. Last year's travels included all states along the east coast south of Jersey, Ohiooo, Nebraska, Indiana, and Illinois. I skipped the west coast trip. But since this could be the last year for the kid to play, I am getting set to travel.

All of that begins with the BP Mom necessities which include: lucky sneakers, hand, feet, and body warmers, wool socks, new Timberlands (my old pair are almost unwearable), foul weather gear, hat, scarf, and sun screen (got to watch the skin for wrinkles, right), Kashi granola bars, and a case of water for the trunk. How about Skittles? Nope, I promised the Beast that I would lay off them. Although, I did purchase lucky cheetah sneakers that dad says are the ugliest thing he has ever seen which includes the Loft brown paisley pants that he felt looked like my Granny's sofa and were 'butt ugly'. That's right....butt ugly.....

Speaking of butts and how sensitive we are about our bottoms, I do recall an incident where having a big of a not-so-tiny derriere benefited me.....

Fade to black....

Picture this....Florence Italy....early 2000's....we were touring together as a was beautiful...the scenery, food, and people.....I could not put my finger on it, but the Italians were stunning. I was not sure why...I looked and looked and they were amazing and stylish....then I had it....Leather! Yes, leather! They all wore leather coats. That's it.....the answer is leather. So, I let dad know that I, I needed an Italian leather coat. He was not so convinced, but went along with me to keep me quiet as I focused on the gorgeous Italians in their leather jackets....and so we went.....

Leather coat shopping! There is a piazza in the center of Florence as well as a leather factory in the basement of a church....we looked and I tried jackets and coats on. Then it happened....something every person dreads, yet, I used it as an advantage....

As I tried this soft jacket on that came just below my waist, dad suggested a longer coat that hits my knees. Seriously? Hey, you pay for the amount of leather. That coat would be more expensive! Am I worth it? Obviously, at that moment, he thought so. Could it be the magic of Italy? Could it be that dad wanted to please me? Was it that he pulled a turn around and just handed my the Visa and said "go get 'em Tiger"? A knee length leather coat? Me? Wow!

And there it butta'...only's a scarf....oh wow! I look pretty dang good. Then I checked the price tag....$$$$. "Uh, we can't do this...too much money. I'll get a short jacket...."

Then it happened. He said it...I will never forget the moment or how I had mixed feelings about the comment....

"No, get the knee length coat as it covers your 'not-so-petite' bottom."

Gulp! Did he say what I thought that he said? Was 'not-so-petite' bottom code for fat butt?

Really? He's doing this in Italy in front of my children as I digest my last chocolate mint gelato? I began to feel queasy....then miffed...then...happy!

Yes, my 'not-so-petite' bottom helped me to score a knee length black leather jacket that I would wear until the end of time. And so, I was OK with this mixed message. Have I forgotten this moment? uh, no. BUT in a convoluted way, he was taking care of me so that I did not accentuate the asset that got me what I really wanted.

Do I still have the not-so-petite bottom? Yup. It stays and so does my leather coat as I bring it out when the bottom is more than not-so-petite as I formally announce that I have once again started Weight Watchers. OK, I overwhelmed my point allotment on Sunday but have been pretty darn faithful to the plan for the last three days as I look longingly at the  full size Halloween candy bars that are sitting on the counter. I will win this least for the next hour.

Gotta run....I have an appointment at 10a.


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