Thursday, December 19, 2013

Count down to the big day

Good morning! It's now 5 days before Santa comes and I still have not shopped. This is bad...really bad....although I know that gifts are not the reason for the season. In fact, there really should be no gifts. After all, Jesus was born in a manger, not a Ritz Carlton. But.....I don't want to disappoint, soooooooo...

I had 90 minutes to drive to Delaware to hit Macy's sale. I figured that I could out elbow the rest of the shoppers looking for the right size for the big kid.....With all the nervous energy, I completely forgot that the cookie fest cookies were in the front seat of the car as I sat at a stop light. Opening the Rubbermaid container, I figured, I would eat one pizzelle...or two...or three....I had to stop when I finished 15 in less than 5 minutes and thought that I would vomit sprinkles and chocolate chips. The emotional eating is something I need a therapist to help me to figure out. On the positive side, I have not nor will not eat another cookie this season. Done...finito...disgusted with myself and lack of will power. Who does that?

Anyway, as I found a parking space, I felt that the shopping fairies were with me as I worked my way toward the racks with my coupons in my hand. There was so much inventory, I had a hard time sifting through it. After my allotted 90 minutes, I was no closer to finishing the shopping than I was in February. Yep, an abysmal failure.....

Now, there are two things that I can do. The first is to roll up in a sweaty ball on the sofa, drown my sorrows in cheap boxed wine, and turn on country music,  and listen to love gone wrong or someone stole someone's truck. Or, I can get tough....and create a plan of action. Who needs what? Sizes? Shapes? Am I cooking? What do I need? Do I have enough butter?

Next, I will create a grid with the stores and their locations. I have the departments firmly ensconced in my mind and create a map. It will be like searching for treasure. I will be Captain Hook with his trusty map looking for the treasure chest, except the treasure is not gold bullion but Nike socks, hand warmers, pajamas, CDs, jeans, sweaters, and perhaps a treat or ten.

I know that this can work because I have the mall set ups in my mind as if I lived there. The last place on the map is the biggest liquor store in Delaware. 'Cause, let me tell ya....if I get all of this shopping done with presents wrapped and ready, dinners made, and cookies baked by December 24th, you will find me passed out under the tree with an empty box of wine and the dog licking my ear trying to wake me.

With that said, I got to get back to work. Tonight is my last class for 2 weeks and I am ready to par-tee! Ok, not the roll of tape.....try to open the roll of tape when the end is stuck on the rest of the roll and I can't find the edge...then  I get frustrated and throw it across the room as I hit a piece of heirloom crystal , break it in a thousand pieces, and walk immediately to the liquor cabinet. Who cares if it is 9 am or 9 pm? It is 5 o'clock somewhere.....

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